A short Blog?: Ok, this is blog #3 and I've received some advice from friends and family about my first two posts, so this one will be a little shorter- as one of the complaints was about the length and depth and breadth of the first two. But on second thought- hell with that. I have a lot to say that no one will read.
Why?: So, in Andy Rooney style here she goes- You ever wonder why . . . when you've been invited by friends, family, or neighbors for dinner who are serving you grilled animal flesh, they get so offended when they see you putting ketchup on "their" steak? Isn't it your steak now. After all, isn't it on your plate? Aren't you the guest? Haven't they taken the trouble to vacuum and dust, pick up their house, clean the bathroom, and buy all kinds of beverages, and spend hours preparing the meal so that you can enjoy the experience of being received in their home?
The Worthiness of Ketchup: Isn't all of that preparation by the host for the guest who the host hopes will have a nice time? Won't the guest have a nice time if they can have seconds on the potatoes, enjoy the dessert, get a little buzzed from the wine, enjoy the dinner music and the conversation, and are allowed to put ketchup on their steak? I was not aware that ketchup was so unworthy and that cut of meat so sanctified.
The real Inconsiderates: The people offended by others putting ketchup on steak are likely those who know that you have registered for gifts for an upcoming wedding, but buy you an off the menu gift. They may be too inconsiderate to buy you something you want. The wedding guest decides to buy you a copper bird feeder that will rust to shit in six months time. That is offensive to me. I'm considered a fairly ungrateful person when I mention this to my wife, to my friends, to my family.
The Returns Aren't In: I guess I am ungrateful. I want people to get what they want, need or can use for a gift as a further reward, along with marrying the right person, on the biggest day of their life. I guess I care if I am giving a gift to someone who will like it, and me, for having considered their desires. I don't want to give someone some piece of crap I think they should have. So, if you are intent on giving someone a toaster when they registered for a coffee maker- include the damn receipt- so they can take the gift you wanted to give them back to the store. And don't buy them something from an outlet mall they'll have to regift if they have the nerve. If they have the nerve, that will likely make two people who didn't want a plastic cutting board and cheap steak knives that would disolve in ketchup. You should feel guilty for feeling proud of giving someone a gift that is worthless to the recipient. Giving crappy gifts and feeling good about it is like giving ramen noodles to a starving child in Africa when they don't have clean water in which to boil the noodles?
Terrible offense: Some people think that ingratitude is a terrible offense- I think ingratitude falls below a lack of consideration on the scale of offensive human qualities. I should eat my steak medium rare and sans a popular tomato based condiment to be considered a grateful guest at your dinner table? I say- pass the ketchup!
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4 comments:
Ummmm, boiling water cleans the water so they can boil the ramen noodles. Just thought you should know, since you use ketchup on a piece of steak and probably didn't know any better.
What you do is the opposite of what is considered the norm. Yes, the norm is something that most people do, we know that. You are against most of these things. For example, you put ketchup on a steak. Why? More than likely it is because most people do not do that and then again you probably want to see what their reaction is going to be when you do it. Thus, you create a conversation piece that only you are uniquely interested in.
AND THEN....the nerve of some people going against the norm, this being not buying a gift from the gift registry, but instead going out on their own and finding you something special or original. What on Gods green Earth would you have done if you got married before gift registries? Like your parents did and your grandparents and aunts and uncles, etc....So it is okay to do something, anything, only if you agree with it?
Not that I am against you, I am just pointing out faults in your argument(s) as I see it.
Only a barbarian would eat ketchup on a steak. Or rather, even a barbarian wouldn't do such a thing. They ate their steaks rare and ate them with their bare hands too! Any chef will tell you that the more well done a steak is the less flavor it has. Which, I guess would be why you feel the need to add ketchup. Because you have your steak cooked so it has no flavor.
It IS an offence to put ketchup on an expensive piece of meat like a steak. And you should appreciate the fact that your host was willing to serve you such an extravagence! If you feel you MUST use ketchup, then eat ground beef, have a hamburger, or go to McDonald's ahead of time and get your ketchup fetish out of the way. Then, if you feel you can't eat your steak without some sort of condiment, try the more accepted and well respected A-1, or Heinz 57(it says Heinz so it's made from the ketchup maker). Then your hosts won't think you such an ungrateful heathen.
As for the gift thing, I agree with peterpiper: People like to get gifts they feel are "special". So suck it up and accept the gift graciously. At the same time, the gift giver should always include a gift receipt just in case.
I think if you prevailed upon your host to serve Grey Poupon then this blog would be both insipid and dare I say vapid?
non sequitur- at least you spelled everything correctly- contgratulations on this achievement!
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