What's wrong with:
STAR WARS
The Return of the Jedi
1) Shocking. 4 bad white guys fly Vader's shuttle to the Death Star conducted into the landing spot by 4 other bad white guys checking a clearance code. Bad guys could only be white, in 1983 and 2017. Not giving this a defect for retroactive legacy use of white guys to be evil just because 34 years later, those running the "Disney years" of this franchise still haven't figured it out.
Severe
2) A little short-staffed at Jabba's palace. 2 droids feel the resistance of a security guard the size of a light bulb attached to a rod the length of a cane and get 40 yards into the dirt hallway before they're greeted by Bib Fortuna who probably deserved a promotion to General Hux's position years ago.
Similar to the "Falcon parking so closely to the super-fuel" argument from Solo . . . if I'm Jabba the Hutt and Han Solo cost me that much money, both initially for dropping his cargo at the first sight of the Empire, and I've had to pay multiple bounty hunters, including Greedo and Boba Fett to name just a couple . . . why, once I have finally obtained Solo in carbonite, would I retain a skeleton crew security detail? This would be like Captain Ahab splitting one harpoon amongst two whalers on a sea voyage to kill the white whale Moby Dick.
And, and, aaaaaand, why, once I have seen that two droids, and Princess Leia, dressed as a bounty hunter, traipse right into within feet of me, as overlord of that part of the universe, or at least the planet, wouldn't I employ more security to guard such a valuable possession? Plus, R2 played the hologram message of Luke, advertising himself as a Jedi, and claiming friendship with Captain Solo; why would I ignore the warning given me by an adversary? Why wouldn't I make it 1/10th more difficult for a Jedi to rescue his friend as it was for 8 guys to save Private Ryan?
When Luke tried the mind control, Jabba claimed bullshit. Huh. It seems like that should have worked.
3) Once we see Jabba for the first time after 2 films of waiting, it was well worth the wait. This further accentuates how horrible a decision it was to videoshop him into a pre-escape Mos Eisley scene and treat him like a child who has asked for a PS4 the last two years without result. FYI- not aware of a droid in the Star Wars cannon named PS-4. But, that ain't a bad cross-marketing opportunity.
4) Salacious Crumb is a fitting sidekick. That laughing little gremlin would be a Porg's worst nightmare.
Low
5) The special edition lengthened version of the song is a little much.
Severe
2) A little short-staffed at Jabba's palace. 2 droids feel the resistance of a security guard the size of a light bulb attached to a rod the length of a cane and get 40 yards into the dirt hallway before they're greeted by Bib Fortuna who probably deserved a promotion to General Hux's position years ago.
Similar to the "Falcon parking so closely to the super-fuel" argument from Solo . . . if I'm Jabba the Hutt and Han Solo cost me that much money, both initially for dropping his cargo at the first sight of the Empire, and I've had to pay multiple bounty hunters, including Greedo and Boba Fett to name just a couple . . . why, once I have finally obtained Solo in carbonite, would I retain a skeleton crew security detail? This would be like Captain Ahab splitting one harpoon amongst two whalers on a sea voyage to kill the white whale Moby Dick.
And, and, aaaaaand, why, once I have seen that two droids, and Princess Leia, dressed as a bounty hunter, traipse right into within feet of me, as overlord of that part of the universe, or at least the planet, wouldn't I employ more security to guard such a valuable possession? Plus, R2 played the hologram message of Luke, advertising himself as a Jedi, and claiming friendship with Captain Solo; why would I ignore the warning given me by an adversary? Why wouldn't I make it 1/10th more difficult for a Jedi to rescue his friend as it was for 8 guys to save Private Ryan?
When Luke tried the mind control, Jabba claimed bullshit. Huh. It seems like that should have worked.
3) Once we see Jabba for the first time after 2 films of waiting, it was well worth the wait. This further accentuates how horrible a decision it was to videoshop him into a pre-escape Mos Eisley scene and treat him like a child who has asked for a PS4 the last two years without result. FYI- not aware of a droid in the Star Wars cannon named PS-4. But, that ain't a bad cross-marketing opportunity.
4) Salacious Crumb is a fitting sidekick. That laughing little gremlin would be a Porg's worst nightmare.
Low
5) The special edition lengthened version of the song is a little much.
6) Boba Fett is working, on at least a menage, with a couple of ladies. This was his last chance to get some alien booty before his coming death. #sad. Also, I'm surprised Lando, the supposedly closet pansexual (thinking of the Solo criticism) isn't jealous . . . of the ladies. Boba Fett, in Mandalorian armor, is quite a catch.
7) The negotiation between Leia dressed as a bounty hunter and Jabba over the price she's willing to accept for turning over the Wookie, is more in line with how someone as notorious as Jabba would handle things. Leia gets $15k more by threatening to use a thermal detonator; Han used charm in Star Wars, to buy time from Jabba in the Star Wars special edition. Maybe this pansexual thing is a pandemic and Jabba was bitten by it, maybe actually bitten by it, maybe by one of his slave girls. Dude is into some kinky stuff- slave costumes and chains. Just sayin'.
7) The negotiation between Leia dressed as a bounty hunter and Jabba over the price she's willing to accept for turning over the Wookie, is more in line with how someone as notorious as Jabba would handle things. Leia gets $15k more by threatening to use a thermal detonator; Han used charm in Star Wars, to buy time from Jabba in the Star Wars special edition. Maybe this pansexual thing is a pandemic and Jabba was bitten by it, maybe actually bitten by it, maybe by one of his slave girls. Dude is into some kinky stuff- slave costumes and chains. Just sayin'.
8) Hey, where did Luke and crew park their ships? Right next to Jabba's palace. Hell no, they made it slightly less difficult to get to Jabba's palace as it is to find a spot within hiking distance of the Home Depot. If Luke were a handicapped, pregnant veteran, he could get mighty lucky and not have to haul paint and weed killer back to his X-Wing. Instead, he has to listen to 3PO bitch about his chores.
Note: This one is a complement. The creatives thought it might make more sense to have the heroes park at a distance from their objective that would not arouse suspicion. Never mind that there isn't anyone on Jabba's payroll around to be suspicious- see #2.
Medium
9) Again with putting Han and Chewie in the same cell? Is there some gene in this a long time ago galaxy far far away that precludes the characters from constructing multiple cells, that aren't right next to each other? Is the metal, rock or stucco used to construct them too rare, or cost too much money? Are contractors in such short supply? Are contractors harder to deal with than they are in our world? That is hard to believe.
Han and Chewie were united in a cell in ESB and the crew from Rogue One were held in adjoining cells. I bring up the latter one because of convenience. The Rogue One crew wasn't a thing yet, so the captors had no reason for thinking those outlaws were connected (thinking of the pilot and the three who are in one cell). Still, the three were put into one cell after being captured together. All this is to say, it is a plot convenience. It is a too fortunate event, and just one among many in the series. I do not enjoy the happy accidents of limited confinement options, because it is creative laziness and only serves to advance the story.
10) It was wise to not show the Rancor the first time someone was dispatched into its clutches. Thankfully, Lucas didn't go back into the special edition ESB and show them roaming free on Dagobah making friends with the creature that tried to swallow R2 whole after the X-Wing landed. Visually, this many years later, Jabba still holds up. However, the Rancor looks like one step beyond the special effects from the 1933 King Kong movie.
11) Carrie Fischer's abs. Personally, I prefer both the catholic school girl outfit and the librarian look to the slave girl outfit, but I have nothing against smoldering tight hot princesses on a chain.
12) Enhanced Sarlaac with the Venus flytrap head is an improvement. Makes it less impersonal. I mean that.
High
13) Boba Fett got only another 25 minutes of screen presence in this movie and his only line was a yelp as he fell hopelessly into the pit.
Medium
14) "Pass on what you have learned." "There is another Skywalker." Is Yoda telling him to teach the other Skywalker? And if so, why doesn't he do it? And if Yoda knew that Luke was not their only hope, why wouldn't Obi-Wan, Luke or Yoda have sought out Leia to increase the chances of toppling the Empire? I think Lucas read Joseph Campbell a few too many times.
High (at least)
15) Did they build a Death Star with about the same flaw as the first one? That a small fighter plane can penetrate the outer defenses to strike a fatal blow into a small window to set off a chain reaction sending the Death Star into a few million pieces is foolish. Here again is the giant evil the heroes must overcome. Man, the empire is compensating for something. After the first one exploded, years prior, maybe touch up on the defense system a bit.
Medium
16) So 1 ship with an old clearance code gets permission to land on Endor and dozens of rebel soldiers are already there? On the far side of the planet you say? The Empire has no shortage of Stormtroopers who can't shoot straight, as long as they can operate a phone they could warn the Emperor et al that Storm troopers who aren't knocked down by a pebble, or who passed sharpshooting school, should be sent. There are Stormtroopers that passed some kind of weapons training, right?
17) The speeder bike scene is 1/7th the length of the pod race. Enough said.
Critical
Han and Chewie were united in a cell in ESB and the crew from Rogue One were held in adjoining cells. I bring up the latter one because of convenience. The Rogue One crew wasn't a thing yet, so the captors had no reason for thinking those outlaws were connected (thinking of the pilot and the three who are in one cell). Still, the three were put into one cell after being captured together. All this is to say, it is a plot convenience. It is a too fortunate event, and just one among many in the series. I do not enjoy the happy accidents of limited confinement options, because it is creative laziness and only serves to advance the story.
10) It was wise to not show the Rancor the first time someone was dispatched into its clutches. Thankfully, Lucas didn't go back into the special edition ESB and show them roaming free on Dagobah making friends with the creature that tried to swallow R2 whole after the X-Wing landed. Visually, this many years later, Jabba still holds up. However, the Rancor looks like one step beyond the special effects from the 1933 King Kong movie.
11) Carrie Fischer's abs. Personally, I prefer both the catholic school girl outfit and the librarian look to the slave girl outfit, but I have nothing against smoldering tight hot princesses on a chain.
12) Enhanced Sarlaac with the Venus flytrap head is an improvement. Makes it less impersonal. I mean that.
High
13) Boba Fett got only another 25 minutes of screen presence in this movie and his only line was a yelp as he fell hopelessly into the pit.
Medium
14) "Pass on what you have learned." "There is another Skywalker." Is Yoda telling him to teach the other Skywalker? And if so, why doesn't he do it? And if Yoda knew that Luke was not their only hope, why wouldn't Obi-Wan, Luke or Yoda have sought out Leia to increase the chances of toppling the Empire? I think Lucas read Joseph Campbell a few too many times.
High (at least)
15) Did they build a Death Star with about the same flaw as the first one? That a small fighter plane can penetrate the outer defenses to strike a fatal blow into a small window to set off a chain reaction sending the Death Star into a few million pieces is foolish. Here again is the giant evil the heroes must overcome. Man, the empire is compensating for something. After the first one exploded, years prior, maybe touch up on the defense system a bit.
Medium
16) So 1 ship with an old clearance code gets permission to land on Endor and dozens of rebel soldiers are already there? On the far side of the planet you say? The Empire has no shortage of Stormtroopers who can't shoot straight, as long as they can operate a phone they could warn the Emperor et al that Storm troopers who aren't knocked down by a pebble, or who passed sharpshooting school, should be sent. There are Stormtroopers that passed some kind of weapons training, right?
17) The speeder bike scene is 1/7th the length of the pod race. Enough said.
Critical
18) Ewoks! I've been told that boys at a certain age when the movie came out either loved or hated the Ewoks. That cut-off was probably about 10 years old. I was 12 when ROTJ came out. I hate those little sonsa bitches.
High
19) The Empire puts maybe 500 troopers of one kind or another on Endor, the planet they used to house the shield generator, and didn't reinforce it after the Emperor learned the rebellion had a plan of how to disable it. Given the noteworthy and comparable decision-making incompetence, Jabba would have made a good slug soldier in the Empire.
Critical- yeah, I already gave it a critical. I'm giving it another one.
20) In retrospect, half the time the Ewoks are on screen, isn't the worst thing I've seen in the history of movies. But the scenes where that little bastard is riding the bike, and where they're tossing rocks and poking sticks at what are supposed to be trained soldiers, its, its . . . unforgivable. Plus, they stole the chant from the wicked witch's guards near the end of The Wizard of Oz.
To this point in the franchise, Lucas had delivered an A- (Star Wars) and an A (The Empire Strikes Back). Until the Ewoks are besting the Stormtroopers, ROTJ was probably at least an A-. I've got only 7 total defects through half the movie before the first midget in a bear costume shows up.
Holy lord (not really a severity type- I just don't know what to do with this one anymore)
21) Han: "I've got a bad feeling about this" as he's bound hands and feet to a tree limb about to be placed over an open fire. If you don't have a bad feeling, you're still under the effects of carbonite. Maybe Lucas was under the effects of carbonite when he thought this line was something he should include in every film. This line is more overused than "Oh my god, they killed Kenny." from every episode of South Park. At least, I think that line is in every episode of South Park. I wouldn't know, I stopped watching that show in the 90s. Still, Cartman would also make a good Stormtrooper.
Low
22) Leia tells Luke that somehow she's always known he was her brother. Sophocles would be proud.
Severe
23) The Emperor learned nothing from Tarkin, who, when given the chance to leave the first Death Star, abstained and was obliterated for it. Luke was right, the Emperor's overconfidence was his weakness. When Luke and Vader first enter the throne room, the Emperor commands his guards to leave him. What is it with these bad guys? Never surrounding themselves with enough support, even when it is available, they dismiss it.
Emperor: "An entire legion of my best troops awaits [Luke's pitiful band of friends]."
Seriously? It's as if the Stormtroopers have been shooting blanks since the Clone Wars ended, or the Emperor has never had one meeting with a general who could have told him who to send to Endor, or life in the Empire is a perpetual Halloween where the guys inside those suits have been dressing up every day instead of once a year. I could make a gun right now out of cardboard I can't reach and do more damage than the Emperor's best troops.
Finally, the Empire has enough soldiers per rebel prisoner and the professional soldiers lose to a flock of well-groomed pudgy schnauzers who wear all kinds of things on their heads but have the fashion sense of your average claymation sheep.
High
19) The Empire puts maybe 500 troopers of one kind or another on Endor, the planet they used to house the shield generator, and didn't reinforce it after the Emperor learned the rebellion had a plan of how to disable it. Given the noteworthy and comparable decision-making incompetence, Jabba would have made a good slug soldier in the Empire.
Critical- yeah, I already gave it a critical. I'm giving it another one.
20) In retrospect, half the time the Ewoks are on screen, isn't the worst thing I've seen in the history of movies. But the scenes where that little bastard is riding the bike, and where they're tossing rocks and poking sticks at what are supposed to be trained soldiers, its, its . . . unforgivable. Plus, they stole the chant from the wicked witch's guards near the end of The Wizard of Oz.
To this point in the franchise, Lucas had delivered an A- (Star Wars) and an A (The Empire Strikes Back). Until the Ewoks are besting the Stormtroopers, ROTJ was probably at least an A-. I've got only 7 total defects through half the movie before the first midget in a bear costume shows up.
Holy lord (not really a severity type- I just don't know what to do with this one anymore)
21) Han: "I've got a bad feeling about this" as he's bound hands and feet to a tree limb about to be placed over an open fire. If you don't have a bad feeling, you're still under the effects of carbonite. Maybe Lucas was under the effects of carbonite when he thought this line was something he should include in every film. This line is more overused than "Oh my god, they killed Kenny." from every episode of South Park. At least, I think that line is in every episode of South Park. I wouldn't know, I stopped watching that show in the 90s. Still, Cartman would also make a good Stormtrooper.
Low
22) Leia tells Luke that somehow she's always known he was her brother. Sophocles would be proud.
Severe
23) The Emperor learned nothing from Tarkin, who, when given the chance to leave the first Death Star, abstained and was obliterated for it. Luke was right, the Emperor's overconfidence was his weakness. When Luke and Vader first enter the throne room, the Emperor commands his guards to leave him. What is it with these bad guys? Never surrounding themselves with enough support, even when it is available, they dismiss it.
Emperor: "An entire legion of my best troops awaits [Luke's pitiful band of friends]."
Seriously? It's as if the Stormtroopers have been shooting blanks since the Clone Wars ended, or the Emperor has never had one meeting with a general who could have told him who to send to Endor, or life in the Empire is a perpetual Halloween where the guys inside those suits have been dressing up every day instead of once a year. I could make a gun right now out of cardboard I can't reach and do more damage than the Emperor's best troops.
Finally, the Empire has enough soldiers per rebel prisoner and the professional soldiers lose to a flock of well-groomed pudgy schnauzers who wear all kinds of things on their heads but have the fashion sense of your average claymation sheep.
Low
24) When Luke turns the second time and force calls his light saber into his hands, he doesn't time it right. He turns, then a second passes; he extends his arms, which seem damn near close enough just to grab the thing from the Emperor's arm rest, another second passes, and then the light saber jumps to Luke's hands. I thought the same thing when the timing of R2 shooting Luke's light saber to him on the skiff above the Sarlaac was a little off; right when he does his flip, and lands, that weapon has to be in his hand. Whether this defect is due to choreography, film editing, the idea that the Emperor would delay the saber from being obtained by Luke, or R2 miscalculates the trajectory of a metal weapon in desert air, both instances seem clunky.
Severe
25) One Ewok is shown to have probably died in the battle for Endor. Can we see one limping around, one that maybe got the sun in its eyes, something, anything? A sliver? I get that Lucas wanted to sell toys and appeal to kids, but he jumped the god-damned shark here. This was the beginning of the end of his credibility. The first two prequel trilogy movies, TPM and AOTC are campy in the same way that all the Batman movies in the 90s are hard to take seriously. Keaton and Nicholson are great and Michelle Pfeifer's butt-cheeks inside of the leather Cat Woman outfit are nothing to hiss at, but other than that . . . So anyway, seeing more Ewoks die would have been the least you could do for us Lucas.
"Why . . . why" think Nancy Kerrigan's cry after Harding's boyfriend took her out at the knees, couldn't Lucas have gone with having the battle for the Endor shield generator be fought between Wookies and something resembling the guys from Hogan's Heroes.
Severe
26) Looks like I have some kind of theme going here. But the manner in which the Stormtroopers are defeated, by bear midgets beating them with tree limbs, and throwing medium sized boulders at them is even more embarrassing than the troopers in Star Wars that couldn't hit a 7 foot Wookie in a 6 foot hallway with several hundred attempts. The troopers on Endor should try to get onto some kind of world cup soccer team because they are good at looking like they were shot by an elephant gun when they were poked in the shoulder by a twig. Yellow Card!
High
27) So, we went from one of the best villains (Darth Vader) in the history of film (in ESB) because of his menacing strength and omnipresence to a veritable cripple. Luke and Vader fight for maybe two minutes in front of the Emperor. Vader is overwhelmed, falls down and has his hand cut off. ROTJ is only a few months, in real time, after ESB. Luke, Leia, Lando and Chewie weren't looking for Han for years. And the passage of time from the beginning of the movie and the end is, again, maybe a couple days- remember, because Lucas can only tell a story in 2 day intervals every 3 years. How did the most feared villain (along with Hannibal Lecter and Heath Ledger's Joker) in movie history turn into a Cylon (ala Battlestar Galactica) statuesque in the agility department?
This is typical also- a highly anticipated fight scene, cut short. I've referenced a half-dozen battles, at least, in the course of this set of movie reviews that ended very prematurely- Grievous and Kenobi (AOTC), Dooku and Kenobi and Anakin (AOTC), Windu et al v. the Emperor (ROTS), Boba Fett into the Sarlac pit and on and on.
28) Adding young Anakin as a force ghost back in at the end of the movie isn't the end of the world. We saw that version of Anakin in two movies and his predecessor in another one. We saw the older version of Anakin for three on screen minutes and we had it burned into our memories from 1983 to whenever Lucas re-edited ROTJ. I don't even care to research when that was, given the iterative meddling Lucas has done. Like Neil Page (Steve Martin) complained in Planes, Trains and Automobiles, you people need to "pick and choose." He was referring to Dell Griffith's (John Candy's) anecdotes. I'm referring to fanboy, elitist protectionists of the original versions of the films, especially when the changes are improvements. Nope, I'm not an elitist protectionist, as I've called out as many good things as bad, in 8 other posts on the overall What's Wrong With topic.
29) Addition of cities and planets enjoying the demise of the Empire with fireworks and celebrations also not a bad inclusion.
Medium
30) Lame Ewok dancing. He made the end of the trilogy seem like the last minute of a news cast where the two anchors, the sports guy and weather lady are all the best of friends about to open a bottle of merlot after reporting on violence, incompetence and degradation of private citizens and elected officials for 22 minutes.
Severe
25) One Ewok is shown to have probably died in the battle for Endor. Can we see one limping around, one that maybe got the sun in its eyes, something, anything? A sliver? I get that Lucas wanted to sell toys and appeal to kids, but he jumped the god-damned shark here. This was the beginning of the end of his credibility. The first two prequel trilogy movies, TPM and AOTC are campy in the same way that all the Batman movies in the 90s are hard to take seriously. Keaton and Nicholson are great and Michelle Pfeifer's butt-cheeks inside of the leather Cat Woman outfit are nothing to hiss at, but other than that . . . So anyway, seeing more Ewoks die would have been the least you could do for us Lucas.
"Why . . . why" think Nancy Kerrigan's cry after Harding's boyfriend took her out at the knees, couldn't Lucas have gone with having the battle for the Endor shield generator be fought between Wookies and something resembling the guys from Hogan's Heroes.
Severe
26) Looks like I have some kind of theme going here. But the manner in which the Stormtroopers are defeated, by bear midgets beating them with tree limbs, and throwing medium sized boulders at them is even more embarrassing than the troopers in Star Wars that couldn't hit a 7 foot Wookie in a 6 foot hallway with several hundred attempts. The troopers on Endor should try to get onto some kind of world cup soccer team because they are good at looking like they were shot by an elephant gun when they were poked in the shoulder by a twig. Yellow Card!
High
27) So, we went from one of the best villains (Darth Vader) in the history of film (in ESB) because of his menacing strength and omnipresence to a veritable cripple. Luke and Vader fight for maybe two minutes in front of the Emperor. Vader is overwhelmed, falls down and has his hand cut off. ROTJ is only a few months, in real time, after ESB. Luke, Leia, Lando and Chewie weren't looking for Han for years. And the passage of time from the beginning of the movie and the end is, again, maybe a couple days- remember, because Lucas can only tell a story in 2 day intervals every 3 years. How did the most feared villain (along with Hannibal Lecter and Heath Ledger's Joker) in movie history turn into a Cylon (ala Battlestar Galactica) statuesque in the agility department?
This is typical also- a highly anticipated fight scene, cut short. I've referenced a half-dozen battles, at least, in the course of this set of movie reviews that ended very prematurely- Grievous and Kenobi (AOTC), Dooku and Kenobi and Anakin (AOTC), Windu et al v. the Emperor (ROTS), Boba Fett into the Sarlac pit and on and on.
28) Adding young Anakin as a force ghost back in at the end of the movie isn't the end of the world. We saw that version of Anakin in two movies and his predecessor in another one. We saw the older version of Anakin for three on screen minutes and we had it burned into our memories from 1983 to whenever Lucas re-edited ROTJ. I don't even care to research when that was, given the iterative meddling Lucas has done. Like Neil Page (Steve Martin) complained in Planes, Trains and Automobiles, you people need to "pick and choose." He was referring to Dell Griffith's (John Candy's) anecdotes. I'm referring to fanboy, elitist protectionists of the original versions of the films, especially when the changes are improvements. Nope, I'm not an elitist protectionist, as I've called out as many good things as bad, in 8 other posts on the overall What's Wrong With topic.
29) Addition of cities and planets enjoying the demise of the Empire with fireworks and celebrations also not a bad inclusion.
Medium
30) Lame Ewok dancing. He made the end of the trilogy seem like the last minute of a news cast where the two anchors, the sports guy and weather lady are all the best of friends about to open a bottle of merlot after reporting on violence, incompetence and degradation of private citizens and elected officials for 22 minutes.
Deleted scenes:
Vader attempts to communicate with Luke through the galaxy and the latter is in a cave activating his lightsaber, seemingly receiving Vader's interstellar communication and then Luke dispatches 3P0 and R2 to Jabba's lair. They should have left that in. This scene does 2 things:
a) it reveals an attempted communication between a father and son and an initial plotting of Vader to bring Luke in to fight with him against the Emperor, which aligns with what happens at the end of the movie.
b) it shows a Jedi, virtually alone with his thoughts, his father in his head, spending quality time with his weapon, hermited in a cave about to attempt to rescue his friends. What this isn't is a spaceship landing next to a valuable superfuel resource (as in Solo) where attention is drawn, or should be drawn, to a ship given its proximity to what should be a protected area, Jabba's home.
Scene after Jabba's barge is destroyed and Boba Fett is fed to the Sarlaac, where the heroes have to struggle to get back to their ships amid a sandstorm. The only part of that scene that could have been included, unless there were something else to overcome, besides the storm, was Han and Luke connecting after the successful rescue.
I had mentioned the whole Battle for Endor was pretty ridiculous, so anything prolonging it would have been foolish. This creative crew seemed ill-equipped to make it more interesting. A skirmish for control of the control room on Endor could have worked, but none of what I saw should have been included in the movie. The Stormtroopers piled up on top of each other as the rebels shot them at will. In the agility department, the troopers reminded me of the mincing steps of the sleestack from Land of the Lost. In fact the sleestack were more menacing with their hissing and alien goonishness, than were the Stormtroopers with loaded blasters and seemingly unlimited ammunition.
The last deleted scene I saw was about some empire commander's inner turmoil, but the sound was bad and I don't know if he's supposed to be conflicted about blowing up Endor or constipated because he hasn't had enough water.
CinemaSins:
Not sure having to read a prelude, or that Jabba smoking green swamp heroin is a sin. Droids having feeling in their feet is legitimate.
C-3PO rhetorically asking "what has come over master Luke?" doesn't mean he is too smart not to understand, but he's subordinate to Luke. Underlings can question all kinds of things their superiors decide, in inter-galactic prisoner re-acquisition and how to distribute resources on a project. 3PO can comply and complain at the same time.
All kinds of appropriate sins with Luke not having his lightsaber, trying to mind trick Jabba in a different language, Luke couldn't possibly know . . .
The "sin" about Luke not having the inclination to attempt to mind control the Rancor doesn't count. George wasn't able to keep Lennie (from Steinbeck's classic novella "Of Mice and Men") from squeezing the life out of rabbits, puppies or the boss' wife. You can't reason with those without minds or minds that emotionally or morally underdeveloped. It's like trying to plug a USB into a coaxial cable outlet; and that is being kind.
Reasonable sin- Han just got out of carbon freeze and doesn't object when Luke proposes a plan which involves Lando on their side. The last interaction between Lando and Han is when the latter is double-crossed by the former and frozen in carbonite. Han showing no negative reaction to Lando's name being brought up is a bit of a problem.
There are all kinds of legitimate issues to be found in the continued reluctant disclosure to Luke, by Obi-Wan and Yoda, about Luke's genesis. Other than to say that subtopic has been a mess dating back to Star Wars when Obi-Wan first brings it up, I'm not interested in enumerating them, but my guess is there are 8-10 things that don't make sense, from phrasing, to timing, to keeping secrets.
Calls out that the cuteness of Ewoks is the reason Jar Jar exists. I think we covered that topic.
I missed, but CinemaSins catches that 3PO's programming is inconsistent- that he vacillates between George Washington's "I cannot tell a lie" and Tommy Flanagan-style lying his ass off about being a god.
Luke is powerful, per Vader and talented with potential, according to the Emperor. We've seen very little evidence of that. The Matrix's Neo, teased us with that kind of untapped potential but he eventually was able to deliver. We don't see Luke's potential/power until shortly before he force-ghosts himself to death in TLJ 34 years after he's given credit for it.
Many more legitimate CinemaSins for this movie than there were for ESB. The last of which is this Catch-22. Luke must face and defeat or turn Vader, but he might have to be aggressive and violent to do so. Hugging it out won't work. If he gets violent and aggressive, this might insight Vader to defend the Emperor, but he can't beat Vader and the Emperor without "giving in" and being violent enough. So, he either has to stand there and die, or fight and be turned. Somehow though, Luke plays victim enough to force Vader into defending him and killing the Emperor.
I'm still contending that the logic of the final showdown is flawed- Luke's execution is remarkable. And in this way, he kind of achieves what Kirk did in the first Star Trek movie reboot from a few years ago.
Luke takes an impossible situation that his elders on both sides, Vader and the Emperor, as well as Obi-Wan and Yoda, have devised for him. That is the potential and power that all four of his elders have been fostering, concealing and beckoning. Unfortunately, something tells me that I just gave more thought to the enigma I've just described than the franchise's creator did.
a) it reveals an attempted communication between a father and son and an initial plotting of Vader to bring Luke in to fight with him against the Emperor, which aligns with what happens at the end of the movie.
b) it shows a Jedi, virtually alone with his thoughts, his father in his head, spending quality time with his weapon, hermited in a cave about to attempt to rescue his friends. What this isn't is a spaceship landing next to a valuable superfuel resource (as in Solo) where attention is drawn, or should be drawn, to a ship given its proximity to what should be a protected area, Jabba's home.
Scene after Jabba's barge is destroyed and Boba Fett is fed to the Sarlaac, where the heroes have to struggle to get back to their ships amid a sandstorm. The only part of that scene that could have been included, unless there were something else to overcome, besides the storm, was Han and Luke connecting after the successful rescue.
I had mentioned the whole Battle for Endor was pretty ridiculous, so anything prolonging it would have been foolish. This creative crew seemed ill-equipped to make it more interesting. A skirmish for control of the control room on Endor could have worked, but none of what I saw should have been included in the movie. The Stormtroopers piled up on top of each other as the rebels shot them at will. In the agility department, the troopers reminded me of the mincing steps of the sleestack from Land of the Lost. In fact the sleestack were more menacing with their hissing and alien goonishness, than were the Stormtroopers with loaded blasters and seemingly unlimited ammunition.
The last deleted scene I saw was about some empire commander's inner turmoil, but the sound was bad and I don't know if he's supposed to be conflicted about blowing up Endor or constipated because he hasn't had enough water.
CinemaSins:
Not sure having to read a prelude, or that Jabba smoking green swamp heroin is a sin. Droids having feeling in their feet is legitimate.
C-3PO rhetorically asking "what has come over master Luke?" doesn't mean he is too smart not to understand, but he's subordinate to Luke. Underlings can question all kinds of things their superiors decide, in inter-galactic prisoner re-acquisition and how to distribute resources on a project. 3PO can comply and complain at the same time.
All kinds of appropriate sins with Luke not having his lightsaber, trying to mind trick Jabba in a different language, Luke couldn't possibly know . . .
The "sin" about Luke not having the inclination to attempt to mind control the Rancor doesn't count. George wasn't able to keep Lennie (from Steinbeck's classic novella "Of Mice and Men") from squeezing the life out of rabbits, puppies or the boss' wife. You can't reason with those without minds or minds that emotionally or morally underdeveloped. It's like trying to plug a USB into a coaxial cable outlet; and that is being kind.
Reasonable sin- Han just got out of carbon freeze and doesn't object when Luke proposes a plan which involves Lando on their side. The last interaction between Lando and Han is when the latter is double-crossed by the former and frozen in carbonite. Han showing no negative reaction to Lando's name being brought up is a bit of a problem.
There are all kinds of legitimate issues to be found in the continued reluctant disclosure to Luke, by Obi-Wan and Yoda, about Luke's genesis. Other than to say that subtopic has been a mess dating back to Star Wars when Obi-Wan first brings it up, I'm not interested in enumerating them, but my guess is there are 8-10 things that don't make sense, from phrasing, to timing, to keeping secrets.
Calls out that the cuteness of Ewoks is the reason Jar Jar exists. I think we covered that topic.
I missed, but CinemaSins catches that 3PO's programming is inconsistent- that he vacillates between George Washington's "I cannot tell a lie" and Tommy Flanagan-style lying his ass off about being a god.
Luke is powerful, per Vader and talented with potential, according to the Emperor. We've seen very little evidence of that. The Matrix's Neo, teased us with that kind of untapped potential but he eventually was able to deliver. We don't see Luke's potential/power until shortly before he force-ghosts himself to death in TLJ 34 years after he's given credit for it.
Many more legitimate CinemaSins for this movie than there were for ESB. The last of which is this Catch-22. Luke must face and defeat or turn Vader, but he might have to be aggressive and violent to do so. Hugging it out won't work. If he gets violent and aggressive, this might insight Vader to defend the Emperor, but he can't beat Vader and the Emperor without "giving in" and being violent enough. So, he either has to stand there and die, or fight and be turned. Somehow though, Luke plays victim enough to force Vader into defending him and killing the Emperor.
I'm still contending that the logic of the final showdown is flawed- Luke's execution is remarkable. And in this way, he kind of achieves what Kirk did in the first Star Trek movie reboot from a few years ago.
Luke takes an impossible situation that his elders on both sides, Vader and the Emperor, as well as Obi-Wan and Yoda, have devised for him. That is the potential and power that all four of his elders have been fostering, concealing and beckoning. Unfortunately, something tells me that I just gave more thought to the enigma I've just described than the franchise's creator did.
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