Summation: I have written the things I have concerning the two major political parties because I hear and read things that make me believe I am not alone in holding the two major political parties in the highest contempt. And my concerns are pronounced and genuine because I have taken the next step in being concerned about the future of all middle class kids, especially mine, who in 16 years will be ready and willing, but not able, to attend college (see parts 7 and 8 and some upcoming parts which will address taxation). They will be forced to take lower paying jobs, earning less because they weren’t able to save enough for a college education, (see part 7, where I showed that a person’s level of education is directly associated with salary). I’ve continually identified other key reasons why this should be a major concern for the middle class going forward as the income gap between the extremely affluent and the middle class continues to grow.
Disclaimer: If in twenty to thirty years, my source of frustration has been fixed in some way where everyone, even the rich, are taxed less, the government wastes less money and prices on things such as automobiles, new furnaces, child care, college tuition, vacations, etc. don’t continue to rise in a manner that outpaces cost of living increases, then I won’t have been wrong- but rather one thing will have happened: the government altered some tax laws and more responsibly spends the money it receives from the various sources paying in. One could claim that another beneficial happening might be that some kind of minor regulation was instituted that limited the amount capitalists could overcharge the consumers for goods and services (ie. necessary costs), but if you take care of the excessive taxation and the subsequent government waste issues, there is no need, nor should there be a desire to, punish the entrepreneurial, though Grinchian, capitalist.
Disclaimer II: The taxation issue likely won’t improve unless you find different candidates to elect. If you’ve already advised your buddy whose loneliness is legendary to date former super M-I-L-F Charo and he instead sent away for a companion, acquired an STD from a blow-up doll, and then turned to the animal kingdom for companionship, impregnating a bovine that is lactose intolerant, but whose English is probably still better than Charo’s- well, maybe it is time to come up with a better plan. And don’t so easily dismiss Charo as one of the all-time former Cougar hotties. She appeared on the Love Boat eight times- so someone thought she was hot. “Cuchi Cuchi” is the best phrase for copulation I’ve ever heard of.
Stating the Obvious: So, millions and millions of people aren’t satisified with the nature of politics and aren’t happy with legislative bills that politicians unleash upon a largely unsuspecting public who helped get them elected. Read the editorial pages, listen to talk radio, pick up a book written by Chuck Schumer: “Positively American, Winning Back the Middle Class Majority One Family at a Time,” or Lou Dobbs: “War on the Middle Class,” books written by men that are far more qualified to write the types of things I’m writing. These guys are insiders, though I doubt Schumer (a democratic senator), would advocate not voting for someone from either party, but I wouldn’t know because I have yet to read his book. I don’t need to have read either book, but based on the titles- it kind of sounds like something me and millions of other middle-classers are living. People are not oblivious to their current economic condition, just to the probable future condition of their children. Some people may eventually become aware of the fact that this is the first time in American history that people’s children will not better their parent’s social condition, which is primarily derived from a paycheck, that’s earning power is best spent on a college degree, though the paycheck, via the increased prices on necessary costs, will not be able to stretch in order to finance said education. Schumer’s and Dobbs’ books are both over 230 pages, so I feel less guilty about subjecting any reader left out there to the type of punishment that comes with the task of deciphering my diatribe.
Hell, the Mitchell report, the former senator’s comprehensive, but ultimately toothless yarn about rampant cheating by professional baseball players using performance enhancing drugs, is over 400 pages. It resolves nothing, implicates no one and a man who spent about two years deposing witnesses in front of federal attorneys, advised the commissioner of baseball to not pursue any legal action against implicated violators. Wow! At least I am giving the problem, addressing the origin of the problem, and attempting to provide some solutions- though my comprehensive list is still to come.
Political Cartoons: One way for a voter to determine the pulse of a nation, often through the mind of one individual, is to look at some political cartoons, which is another format in which is expressed the disgust that is palpably, or really, felt by people who have to vote for one of the turkeys seeking office. After all, sometimes a picture is worth more than one thousand words. One cartoon I looked at just prior to Thanksgiving had an old farmer and his wife, with roasting pan in hand, standing outside of a pen filled with about 20 turkeys with several “gobble” captions above their heads. On the outside of the pen is a sign that reads: Candidates ‘08. The old farmer says to his wife- “See anything you fancy?” On the bottom of the cartoon is a bird of some kind, which looks to be representing either the conscience of the nation or is just a bird happening across the scene. The bird says- “Pick that sincere-looking one.” The couple would probably be standing there a long time if that were the criteria. It is hard to base my theory about the cynicism of a nation, as represented by a political cartoon, being the first step in a long line of desired mandates seeking governmental change that would most positively impact the middle class. Lucky for me, I’ve got plenty of other things to go on (see parts 5-13 of this topic). My question- if the vast majority of people are so disgusted with politics as usual- shouldn’t a different approach to voting a politician into office be tried? I’ve been skimming a book- A. James Reichley’s (The Life of the Parties: A History of American Political Parties)- things weren’t any better 214 years ago when the federalists were fighting the republicans during George Washington’s presidential administration. When will we learn?
Evolution: That is one cartoon, based on one person’s take on the political climate. A much more famous man born to the world in 1904 as Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss) may have given us dozens of more subtle, highly-evolved, rhyming social and political commentary pieces. Political cartoons have been in existence since cavemen were writing about mastadons on cave walls. Just watch Ice Age starring the voices of Dennis Leary and Ray Romano and you would know this is a proven fact. It comes to that, Dr. Seuss, according to Wikipedia, a source I have been weary of depending on for about six months now, evolved from a political cartoonist who wrote over 400 political cartoons in two years during World War II, into one of the most original artists we’ve ever seen. So, both the political cartoon and certain members of the political cartoon writing community have evolved throughout history.
Boys and Girls: I have two kids under the age of 3. I have read my share of Dr. Seuss stories. Some of them are pretty darn good, especially with the sneaky way that Seuss injected some social lessons, and even more veiled political ones into them (if you’re reading hard enough). I’ve already touched upon the inherent lesson of discrimination addressed with my two part “Sneetches and Racism” column from January 3rd and 12th, 2007.
I have started referring to republicans and democrats as the Thing 1 and Thing 2 of politics. The combination of the over-zealous Things in Seuss’ book The Cat in the Hat, who are let out of a box as a way to provide further entertainment for the two young children who are trapped inside of their house during the hull of a rainy day with their mother away, is irresponsibility in action. They cause such a mess in the house that it is barely put right again before the children’s mother returns. If that isn’t a comment on the lack of “bi-partisanshipfulness,” (to borrow a Will Farrell line while playing George W. Bush in an SNL skit) I would be shocked. The Things cause problems in the house; unfortunately Seuss didn't indicate that the Things had caused problems in the senate.
“Yertle the Turtle” is a story about a turtle so driven by the greed of monopolizing a vantage point, enjoying a better view, that he commands all of the other turtles in the pond to act as pawns to raise him out of the pond he inhabits. He discovers a rival in the lofty height he’s attained when the moon rises before him, so he says: “ ‘I’ll call some more turtles. I’ll stack ‘em to heaven!/I need ‘bout five thousand, six hundred and seven!’ ” This number is slightly less than a campaign contribution (in terms of- $) that the favor of a reciprocated vote will get you when you donate to the presidential hopeful of your choice in the January 2008 primary. Let’s also not dismiss the obvious charge against hypocrisy (toward candidates feigning piety, signaling that righteousness and money are quite linked) that Seuss levelled by placing the word “heaven” so near a number before which some careful readers might place a dollar symbol in order to demonstrate a point. Unintentional? I think not. Yeah, I worked overtime on that one. A plain turtle named Mack finally says:
“ ‘Your Majesty, please . . . I don’t like to complain,
But down here below, we are feeling great pain.
I know, up on top you are seeing great sights,
But down at the bottom we, too should have rights.’ ”
The symbolic meaning, delivered in the quoted lines, as it translates to my overall theme of the future downtroddenness of middle class citizens should not be overlooked.
In “Gertrude McFuzz,” an insecure bird greedily devours far too many pill-berries and her tail grows so large that she can no longer fly, all in the name of acquiring more beautiful feathers than a rival, more than the one with which she has been blessed. Clearly this is a prescient comment directed at Joan Rivers, Kenny Rogers, or any of a stable of celebrities who have decided that looking as goulish as Mike Myers (not the SNL alumnist) was occupationally advantageous, and that Myers needed some competition to play the heavy in the next Halloween movie. Some might consider this story a comment on steroids that would make someone look more healthy, or perform better athletically. But really this story, (isn’t it obvious), is a veiled comment about the nature of politicians attempting to grab too much money for their desired pork-barrel projects. Of course the difference between the events which take place in McFuzz and those which actually take place politically is that the politicians greed has the tendency of costing the public the freedom to fly. Metaphorically, or actually, it costs them, especially if one considers that taking a vacation, (that involves a plane ride) is one of the life events I would consider a necessary cost and which is becoming less affordable.
How I could go on- “The Zax” is about two creatures who share a stubborn psychological approach to ensuring their special interest group reigns supreme, for neither will get out of the other’s way, standing still upon meeting and never moving (even left or right- shockingly subtle was Seuss, as this is undoubtedly a comment on the political direction any candidate or private citizen could said to be leaning on any issue imaginable). Eventually, a super-highway is built up around them. Neither gets what they want- which is apt commentary on the nature of legislative government, for no one gets too much of what they want in a compromise.
“The Grinch,” perhaps the most well-known Seuss story, is about a green (think envious) washed-up creature who suffers from Affluenza,* a politician that can’t gather enough of other people’s (the Who’s) things in a meeting which is not symbolically unlike a congressional session where the Grinch attempts to grab all of the domestic products for himself in order to satisfy his constitutency. In the Grinch’s case, the rather forlorn looking Mack, the dog he keeps as a pet/reindeer, would seem a helpless accomplice, non-descript you might say, much as the corporations at the back of the candidates, the latter of which are supposed to be representing us. The Grinch is even seen meeting in subcommittee with Cindy Lou Who. We can hope, that like the Grinch, the politicians will eventually grow a heart three sizes and forego the greed that benefits relatively few people.
“Green Eggs and Ham” is the subtle story about a man named Sam, who like several politicians and legislators, continually attempts to force a disgruntled citizen to try something he wants no part of, until he finally relents, in order to shut up Uncle Sam? The unnamed creature is made to pretend to enjoy a new stadium, an urban development project, a round-a-bout on one of the busiest streets in his city, symbolized by the probably disgusting green eggs and green ham. Don’t lose sight of the fact that the ham is green and that it is in fact- HAM- a food cut from a pig. Please see my harangue from last time which talked about pig racing and pork-barrel spending. This Seuss guy was good.
I won’t spend much space on this one because it speaks for itself- “Red Fish, Blue Fish.” That couldn’t be a symbolic treatment of republican fish (red state) and democratic fish (blue state). No, there is nothing fishy in politics. Huh, the exception that proves the rule.
Another fairly obscure story, “The Big Brag,” will better serve as an analogy for my purposes. It begins:
“The rabbit felt mighty important that day
On top of the hill in the sun where he lay.
He felt SO important up there on the hill
That he started in braggin, as animals will”
The rabbit proceeds to laud his sense of hearing.
Quoting from these first four lines of the story reveals two things preliminarily: 1) that Seuss clearly meant to communicate how self-important politicians are- for after all they are up there on that capital “hill;” 2) the prevalence of my attacks upon residents of the animal kingdom which is a necessary part of any blog is well-intentioned, as I aim to get them to stop “braggin, as animals will.” Someone has to knock these feral bastard creatures down a peg or two. E.B. White or George Orwell, authors of “Charlotte’s Web” and “Animal Farm” respectively, or any celebrity “author” of a more unbelievably popular child’s book starring a wild or domesticated animal have seldom disparaged animals to the point where they will finally stop being so uppity (ahem, see my column from February 4th, 2007 on celebrity authors).
I could continue quoting from this book for the length of this column to the relief of no one in particular, for they wouldn’t have to read my original work, but I will attempt to offer some original thought. Suffice to say, Seuss outdoes himself in the area of thinly-veiled political commentary. On the next page a bear appears who says he is the “best of the beasts.” The bear and rabbit then argue for nearly ten pages about whose anatomical sense, the rabbit’s ears for hearing, or the bear’s nose for smelling, is more keen at detecting sounds or aromas at a greater distance.
After this time, up from the ground pops a worm. I’m not aware of a worm even having senses at all, let alone a sense, his eyesight, that could be more keen than animals that rank that far above it on the food chain. Nonethless, the little independent worm says to the bear and the rabbit, that it is obvious Seuss meant to signify are the democrat and the republican respectively, for the rabbit’s pronounced hearing is more conservatively demonstrated, distance wise, as compared to the bear’s sight, thus the bear brags more liberally . . . oh, the lines:
“ ‘Now, boys,’ said the worm, ‘you’ve been bragging a lot.
You both think you’re great. But I think you are not.
You’re not half as good as a fellow like me.
You hear and you smell. But how far can you SEE?’ ”
I can’t believe that I would willingly compare myself, or any independent considering upsetting the apple cart by not voting for a dem. or a rep. to a worm, but I’m humble and the rest of the story is so appropriate I have to overlook that. It pits two boastful, partisan creatures who overrate their abilities and so instantly dismiss their opponents’ that they just have to be prototypical Seussian symbols of political bombast. The worm tells the rabbit and the bear:
“ ‘. . . I saw on this hill, since my eyesight’s so keen,
The two biggest fools that have ever been seen!
And the fools that I saw were none other than you,
Who seem to have nothing else better to do
Than sit here and argue who’s better than who!’ ”
I have hinted and damn well said, (though probably not said well) that I have been looking into the future, given the current economic and political landscape and see things that the vast majority of people are looking past as determinants of what life is going to be like for our children. Those little replicas of their parents can’t possibly fathom the meanings, or uncover the subtext that a guy known as Dr. Seuss has prescribed in the lines of his stories. But let all of the more reasonable people who don’t know what they don’t know dismiss what hasn’t already be proven. Some writer wannabe, a subtext archeologist, and a long-winded one at that, can’t possibly be attempting to prove something that may happen in the future. Is he some wizard afflicted with acute paranoia, with too much time on his hands, another in a long line of goofy bloggers easily marginalized, who believes-
that the man who has much occur to him in connection with many things is under no obligation to keep this information to himself.**
* Affluenza is both a book and a term used to decry the contagious, socially transmitted condition of anxiety and waste, psychologically suffered by consumers who become addicted to the acquiring of possessions. It combines the terms- “affluence” and “influenza.”
** This may in fact be a confluence of thought by multiple philosophers, statesmen, or theologians, but I cannot determine where I might have potentially pilfered the sum existence of the words.
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