"O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason."
- Marc Antony in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar
Yes, I am quoting someone yet again- that's what I do. The above quotation is borrowed from Marc Antony's famous monologue addressing the Roman populace on the event of the passing of Julius Caesar. The more famous beginning of his speech is- "Friends, Romans, Countrymen . . ." At any rate, I use the quote to lament the loss of objectivity and judgment, the death of them in fact, in the world of sports. But, I actually come to praise judgment and objectivity, in regards to sports, as I bury them.
Brawl in N.Y.- If it is one thing I learned years ago, it is that NBA players carry a gun with them for one reason- they don't know how to fight. In a fist-fight between Carmelo Anthony and Kermit the frog I would take Kermit- even if Miss Piggy were distracting "Kermy" with one of her relationship demands. Every year there are two or three major brawls in the NBA (this year it was just last week in the Big Apple) and I have never seen a punch land that wasn't awkwardly delivered. Even Shaquille O'Neal can't throw a punch- as evidenced by a mis-aimed thump on the back of Brad Miller's neck about five years ago. Hey, I'm a writer and an oven mit could probably beat me up, but I would stand a good chance against someone who throws a punch while running backwards to half-court.
Clock Management 1- It was reported that the coach of the Knicks, Isiah Thomas, told his players to be physical with anyone aggressively attacking the basket. I can't blame him- his team trailed by 19 points with 90 seconds left. George Karl, the coach of the Nuggets (Anthony's coach) objected to this stance- why? Because, he could not manage the clock well-enough (see below), or failed math, or wasn't being objective about the Knick's opportunity to come back. I wouldn't have needed a coach to tell me to aggressively foul someone who was trying to run up the score on me. Karl should have pulled all of his starters when the game was well in hand- with five minutes to go. But you see, because I haven't played or coached in the NBA, this contention would be dismissed by someone, namely Karl, who cost his team the league's leading scorer (Anthony) to a 15 game suspension for throwing a punch Casper the ghost would be embarrassed of, and costing his franchise $500,000 in fines.
One T.O. Spitting- Shocking! About the only thing that malcontent, dysfunctional Terrel Owens had not done on his resume of insubordination and imbecility, was spitting in someone's face. He was fined $35k. Many athletes have commented that this is the worst thing you can do to someone, that it shows a total lack of respect. What? Thinking that T.O. would have respect for anyone is the first symptom of a major case of naivete. He's an animal- if he spit in my face, I would think it totally in keeping with how a badger might gnaw on the ankle of a deer. I would have to actually respect Owens as a human being to expect anything more from the worthless pile of crap. The jocks say it is worse than getting sucker-punched (though not from an NBA player because they would have missed). Ask Steve Moore, whose hockey career was ended by Todd Bertuzzi, whether the worst thing to do to someone is to spit in their face. The latter came up from behind Moore two years ago, sucker-punched him and then drove Moore's skull into the ice. That is not as bad as being spit upon by someone who should have been hung years ago? Have you people lost your minds along with your objectivity?
Coaches around the country- are under the impression that because someone was duped into hiring them for their dictatorial position, they can accuse anyone who is not in their position, of being naive, inexperienced, or just plain moronic. But listen- coaches and managers- just because we have not coordinated an offense or yanked a pitcher when he was still throwing well doesn't mean that we are wrong when we don't agree with you. You are not infallible. Unfortunately, all sports fans, particularly those that disagree with a coach, are labeled as half-wits on the subject of managing a game. If you listen to the diction and the vocabulary of most sports fans expressing their opinions- I would be hard pressed to fault the manager being questioned for thinking all fans are uninformed. But, as I've also listened for decades to terrible color commentary from the likes of John Madden and more recently from Troy Aikman, I can't give the nod for opinion supremacy to those who've spent their lifetime playing and/or analyzing a sport. Madden, a former Super Bowl winning coach is a caveman with his very insightful "boom" and Aikman, a recent hall-of-fame player, has this in his repertoirre of insightful phrases- "no one is better than what Brian Westbrook is." Huh? Troy- the proper way to say that is "no one is better than Brian Westbrook."
Clock Management 2- All fans have their opinion on how a football coach manages the clock. I tell you what, I'd trust any housewife who only has 45 minutes to run three errands more than I would trust half of NFL coaches to manage the clock, who have three timeouts to spend in the last five minutes of the fourth quarter, trailing by two scores. Two weeks ago I watched the Detroit Lions coach go for the touchdown on fourth down inside the Vikings 20, well within field goal range- when he needed a field goal and TD to tie the game. He needed two scores- if the Lions fail on fourth down the game is over, if they kick the field goal they are still in the game. Who is the moron?
Making use of animals- These coaches with experience surely overrate their judgment. I would rather snuggle with a bowevil that has irritable bowel syndrome or soak my contact lenses in the urine of a yak with a bladder infection than listen to any coach or manager who says they know more than me about every decision they make on the playing field. Why? Because I have better judgment than most sports fans. Why? Because I'm more objective. Because I have not let my experience cloud my judgment, because I am humble enough to learn from mistakes. Now, if I could only learn from the constant mistake I make about the length of my columns. This is a short one . . . so, Merry christmas!
Next time- a column on racism- I promise.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Heck with Iraq . . . Hell in America! Part II (by Republican Bob)
". . . what is the fate of great nations but a summation of the psychic changes in individuals."
-Carl Jung
Previously: Last time I wrote about the lack of progress the U.S. has had in stabalizing Iraq, but ultimately decided that we should only stay if we are going to do something decisive. If we just half-ass the occupation we'll have our own civil war in America- because we'll be too pre-occupied to deal with our own problems. About Iraq I keep asking- "do you have to let it linger"? to quote a terrible song by the Cranberries; and about America- I feel like Willy Loman's wife from Death of a Salesman when she says "attention must be paid." Of course, she was not referring to the downfall of American cultures, traditions, patriotism, etc. due to the influx of foreign moral relativists who are more difficult to reason with than a baby you are attempting to transition to the bassinet, with a cold, who keeps spitting out her pacifier, just as she's fallen asleep.
Examples of Ingratitude: I am tired to death of the lack of regulations on immigration- and I'm only 20 years old. The Carl Jung quote from above is quite appropriate. We are simply breeding a culture of resentment and hate beneath our very noses. We have incidents such as a meat packing plant being investigated in Worthington, MN because of the number of "undocumented workers" borrowing an American's social security number in order to get a job; we have immigrants suing school systems because the free-ride education they received (monetarily and from an effort requirements standpoint) did not properly prepare them for the work world they probably shouldn't have the opportunity to join in the first place; we have illegal Mexican aliens with the cojones to protest, using signs written in Spanish and flying the American flag upside down; we have had people be offended at the tradition of saluting your neighbor with the phrase- "Merry Christmas!" I haven't been anything resembling a christian in about 5 years and I say "Merry Christmas".
Concession: Now, again, I will say, that I would gladly take plenty of foreign peoples into this country legally who play by our rules- as mentioned in Part I of this column, but we can't stand for the type of infiltration referred to in the previous paragraphs. Hell, I cut out a paragraph of immigrant activities because Janus told me I was taking too much space.
Two more for the Muslims: Oh, I just thought of two more- remember the 6 Muslim clerics who were removed from a flight last month because they were reportedly acting like terrorists, and then mentioned they would ban the airline due to unfair treatment? And the Muslim cab drivers who will not take a fare from transvestites, people transporting alcohol, or blind people (as the blind have sight dogs that would necessitate the cab driver cleaning their cabs because of the supposed infestation)? Refusing a fare like that is a federal law violation. Why don't we force all Muslim clerics acting like terrorists to take cabs to all of their destinations? We could have them stop in Worthington, MN and pick up their fellow law-breakers.
Cartoonish behavior: Bart Simpson managed the very profound line of- "Immigrants, beat it, we're full." Hard to argue with him. And I think Lucy (from Charlie Brown's christmas special) is part immigrant because she mentions at her 5 cent psychology booth to Charlie Brown that all she really wants for christmas is "real estate".
Jung and legitimizing the offensive: Jung's quotation above is much less cartoonishly profound. The immigrants are insecure, they are in a strange land where half the people (the foolish liberals) are accepting of their antics- antics that are more obscene than Terrell Owens sabotaging no less than three NFL football franchises. These people want our land- not our approval, because we've shown that half of Americans will allow them to be offended, to be victims even if they passive-aggressively don't ask for it. They can't, or won't go back to their own countries because of reported unstable governments, or governments that don't have the construction or fast food jobs at the ready. The immigrants are taking for granted what it takes an American 6-year-old several christmases to figure out- that they can manipulate the decision makers into giving them anything they want.
Imports and population Growth: So, the Americans that aren't extremely poor, or unbelievably rich (to admittedly generalize) have time to become infuriated by the reality of their own country being stripped from them. We have time to look at Negative Population Growth websites that show that 1.5 million immigrants are entering our country each year. The website will show how few legitimate citizens will actually be residing in America in 10, 25 and 50 years, when our children will have become conditioned to be bullied by world foundlings. We are being bred right out of our own country- well, the country we stole from the Native Americans. The immigrant's religions, or their mentalities will not allow them to use birth control, so their children are delivered upon us like so many in a long line of terrible imports- like kudzu, the Asian beetle, and Fabio.
Inside the psyche of the Immigrant and societal implications: The immigrant wouldn't recognize this, and surely wouldn't admit to it once it was pointed out to them (in their own language) but they suffer collectively from an inferiority complex. And Americans, who offer road rage, fan violence at sporting events, and hate crimes as just some of the ways of coping violently with their own frustrations, are feeling claustrophobia on a major scale. Because, for all of the people let into the country, there is less space for us to move freely. Americans feel rushed being bogged down by duties and don't have time to stop by Lucy's psychiatric booth, nor do they have the inclination to read Jung. "Real Estate" would be a great thing to ask for for christmas- if only we could own land in Australia- that's where they used to put all the criminals. There is no simpler effect to cause relationship in the history of mankind- more people means more crimes, more violent incidents, more murder, more rape, more car accidents, more hate, more competition- more losers.
Uncivilized: For the immigrant's sakes, I hope that the middle class doesn't convince poor and rich American's to recognize that we are gifting our country to people whose major character traits are a severe intention to be offended, incivility, and ingratitude. Because if we ever figure out that we should band together, to become united, to stop being so civil, because we've realized that the psychic change of us having been molested out of our country has made us angry enough to fight- heaven help them- for we may fight like Iraqis who have so much to lose. Immigrants have shown us that they would return the America we wish them to have; they have taken the receipt of the gift for granted. *
* see Janus' column about Ungratefulness and steak with Ketchup
Thanks Republican Bob- I would like to speak on Republican Bob's behalf which is surprising even to me- as we agree on so little- any argument countering his based on the idea that this country's progress is due to immigration, particularly at the beginning of the 20th century is nonsensical. That version of immigration featured assimilation by the immigrants into the American ways of life- not wholesale disparagement by immigrants for the Americans suffering their presence.
-Carl Jung
Previously: Last time I wrote about the lack of progress the U.S. has had in stabalizing Iraq, but ultimately decided that we should only stay if we are going to do something decisive. If we just half-ass the occupation we'll have our own civil war in America- because we'll be too pre-occupied to deal with our own problems. About Iraq I keep asking- "do you have to let it linger"? to quote a terrible song by the Cranberries; and about America- I feel like Willy Loman's wife from Death of a Salesman when she says "attention must be paid." Of course, she was not referring to the downfall of American cultures, traditions, patriotism, etc. due to the influx of foreign moral relativists who are more difficult to reason with than a baby you are attempting to transition to the bassinet, with a cold, who keeps spitting out her pacifier, just as she's fallen asleep.
Examples of Ingratitude: I am tired to death of the lack of regulations on immigration- and I'm only 20 years old. The Carl Jung quote from above is quite appropriate. We are simply breeding a culture of resentment and hate beneath our very noses. We have incidents such as a meat packing plant being investigated in Worthington, MN because of the number of "undocumented workers" borrowing an American's social security number in order to get a job; we have immigrants suing school systems because the free-ride education they received (monetarily and from an effort requirements standpoint) did not properly prepare them for the work world they probably shouldn't have the opportunity to join in the first place; we have illegal Mexican aliens with the cojones to protest, using signs written in Spanish and flying the American flag upside down; we have had people be offended at the tradition of saluting your neighbor with the phrase- "Merry Christmas!" I haven't been anything resembling a christian in about 5 years and I say "Merry Christmas".
Concession: Now, again, I will say, that I would gladly take plenty of foreign peoples into this country legally who play by our rules- as mentioned in Part I of this column, but we can't stand for the type of infiltration referred to in the previous paragraphs. Hell, I cut out a paragraph of immigrant activities because Janus told me I was taking too much space.
Two more for the Muslims: Oh, I just thought of two more- remember the 6 Muslim clerics who were removed from a flight last month because they were reportedly acting like terrorists, and then mentioned they would ban the airline due to unfair treatment? And the Muslim cab drivers who will not take a fare from transvestites, people transporting alcohol, or blind people (as the blind have sight dogs that would necessitate the cab driver cleaning their cabs because of the supposed infestation)? Refusing a fare like that is a federal law violation. Why don't we force all Muslim clerics acting like terrorists to take cabs to all of their destinations? We could have them stop in Worthington, MN and pick up their fellow law-breakers.
Cartoonish behavior: Bart Simpson managed the very profound line of- "Immigrants, beat it, we're full." Hard to argue with him. And I think Lucy (from Charlie Brown's christmas special) is part immigrant because she mentions at her 5 cent psychology booth to Charlie Brown that all she really wants for christmas is "real estate".
Jung and legitimizing the offensive: Jung's quotation above is much less cartoonishly profound. The immigrants are insecure, they are in a strange land where half the people (the foolish liberals) are accepting of their antics- antics that are more obscene than Terrell Owens sabotaging no less than three NFL football franchises. These people want our land- not our approval, because we've shown that half of Americans will allow them to be offended, to be victims even if they passive-aggressively don't ask for it. They can't, or won't go back to their own countries because of reported unstable governments, or governments that don't have the construction or fast food jobs at the ready. The immigrants are taking for granted what it takes an American 6-year-old several christmases to figure out- that they can manipulate the decision makers into giving them anything they want.
Imports and population Growth: So, the Americans that aren't extremely poor, or unbelievably rich (to admittedly generalize) have time to become infuriated by the reality of their own country being stripped from them. We have time to look at Negative Population Growth websites that show that 1.5 million immigrants are entering our country each year. The website will show how few legitimate citizens will actually be residing in America in 10, 25 and 50 years, when our children will have become conditioned to be bullied by world foundlings. We are being bred right out of our own country- well, the country we stole from the Native Americans. The immigrant's religions, or their mentalities will not allow them to use birth control, so their children are delivered upon us like so many in a long line of terrible imports- like kudzu, the Asian beetle, and Fabio.
Inside the psyche of the Immigrant and societal implications: The immigrant wouldn't recognize this, and surely wouldn't admit to it once it was pointed out to them (in their own language) but they suffer collectively from an inferiority complex. And Americans, who offer road rage, fan violence at sporting events, and hate crimes as just some of the ways of coping violently with their own frustrations, are feeling claustrophobia on a major scale. Because, for all of the people let into the country, there is less space for us to move freely. Americans feel rushed being bogged down by duties and don't have time to stop by Lucy's psychiatric booth, nor do they have the inclination to read Jung. "Real Estate" would be a great thing to ask for for christmas- if only we could own land in Australia- that's where they used to put all the criminals. There is no simpler effect to cause relationship in the history of mankind- more people means more crimes, more violent incidents, more murder, more rape, more car accidents, more hate, more competition- more losers.
Uncivilized: For the immigrant's sakes, I hope that the middle class doesn't convince poor and rich American's to recognize that we are gifting our country to people whose major character traits are a severe intention to be offended, incivility, and ingratitude. Because if we ever figure out that we should band together, to become united, to stop being so civil, because we've realized that the psychic change of us having been molested out of our country has made us angry enough to fight- heaven help them- for we may fight like Iraqis who have so much to lose. Immigrants have shown us that they would return the America we wish them to have; they have taken the receipt of the gift for granted. *
* see Janus' column about Ungratefulness and steak with Ketchup
Thanks Republican Bob- I would like to speak on Republican Bob's behalf which is surprising even to me- as we agree on so little- any argument countering his based on the idea that this country's progress is due to immigration, particularly at the beginning of the 20th century is nonsensical. That version of immigration featured assimilation by the immigrants into the American ways of life- not wholesale disparagement by immigrants for the Americans suffering their presence.
Friday, December 8, 2006
Part I- Heck with Iraq . . . Hell in America!- by guest columnist Republican Bob
Hi Folks- I had imagined that the people not reading this column are thinking that I'm negative, angry, long-winded, and not expressing both sides of the argument. So, I have contacted an old acquaintance of mine to see if he would contribute to this week's column- his name is Republican Bob, he's a 20-year-old college student and is studying to be an ethnologist and a politician. Oh, he likes bold type-face.
You've been occupied (in more ways than one): Good morning/afternoon- but actually my name is Robert Occupe* (Janus is one misguided soapbox blowhard). I have been paying very special attention to the events in Iraq- you know, the place where people now think that weapons of mass destruction never were. Last time I looked at a map of Iraq, it was big and maybe someone could hide a few dozen WMD in the sand, in a cave, in an underground bunker- maybe Osama took them to Afghanistan with him so he could enjoy the idea of their potential explosion- like my buddy who enjoys the idea of potentially exploding with the help of any of a number of adult videos that reside in his bucket-o-porn, which is well hidden beneath his bed.
A living hell: So, anywho- Jean Paul Sartre wrote- "Hell is other people." While I think he had Janus in mind preemptively (for Janus is only in his mid 30s), I think the quote should be more like- "Hell can be other people." I think that is what we're finding out in Iraq, with the help of the Baker-Hamilton report. I'm a more good natured, the glass is hall full kind of guy- and still think it was a good idea to author the regime change, and think we should still be there in a more decisive clearly defined role. It is clear that we are in the midst of a civil war we cannot win, for we are not one of the two (or three, or more) factions that stand to lose or gain the most. We do not have the inherent psychic, religious, or philosophical makeup codified in our DNA as they do.
Go or stay: Resolving the Iraq conflict successfully is a pipe dream and it would be easier to take a bone away from a pit bull with lockjaw than it will be to eventually leave from Iraq with the achieved Adlerian goal of a national feeling of self-realization. Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted to go and yet had the feeling that you wanted to stay? This is a paraphrase of a line from some old musical- I just don't know which one. What is the third option? Well, it is more shock and awe- or as the host columnist would say "awe shucks" because he didn't think our initial maneuvers were some of the most successfully engineered attacks in the history of the military.
Looking beyone our own problems: See, these people (the Islamic extremists) are not reasonable, and they think us the same, and it is never going to change. Funny thing is, our telescopic philanthropy** (a phrase the Janus loves- made popular by Charles Dickens) is preventing us from seeing a similar example of civil war unfold right under our very noses. I'd use the "we can't see the forest for the trees" line, but I hate that one. Yeah, we have Mexican, Muslim, Haitain, and Loasian immigrants, among others, flooding into this country. Now, I would gladly take the percentage of them that will learn our American language, pay taxes, respect our cultures without being offended by them (while we respect theirs), and be punished just like everyone else when they commit crimes and exchange all of the gangstas and white trash currently residing comfortably in this country. But I don't have the receipt for the latter (see the Janus' previous column about unwanted gifts). Unfortunately, I can't employ that many hit men/garbage men to do the job. Also, as I've seen what passes for justice in this country turn a blind eye to recidivists- this last qualification is not necessary because I've seen American rapists get less time in prison than someone who has kicked a dog- probably a person who was trying to deal with that lock-jawed pit bull.
Don't be offended: Hell, to be sure, can be other people. There are thousands of immigrants who are and would be productive members of American society- but there are also thousands who are infiltrating our country, not obeying our laws, receiving tax breaks, getting jobs without a national identification card (do we even have that yet) and being offended by easter bunnies in government offices because it is a "religious" symbol. The easter bunny!
Liberals and Conservatives and . . . : Seriously, they are altering the makeup of this country, and we aren't doing a damned thing about it because we are populated by two major factions who are more concerned with each other, and personally, I wouldn't have it any other way- Independents are satellite Americans. We have the traditional liberal democrat who favors extremism in the defense of liberty (liberty for those who should not even be here- illegal immigrants), in other words- the bad guys. And we have those of my sect (according to Janus), the republicans- the paranoid rich who are worried that someone will overtax money they acquired by the sweat of another man's brow- often by an immigrant that is being underpaid for their labor- and those are the good guys. My view, if you come up with an idea and it sells, and you employ people in your company, you are entitled to all you can get and keep- that is capitalism.
My conclusion-
So, the civil war in Iraq, is one giant pitbull, and the bone is the civil war beginning to cast its shadow in our America that we are ignoring right here, though with all of the immigrants coming in we have a giant bucket-o-porn. Hopefully my buddy will forgive me on this one, but he has the right idea- Hell with it! We should not ignore our own bone!
Janus' note- The rich think they are entitled to all of their own money, even though they don't need it, and the government lets them keep it; the poor think they are entitled to everyone else's money, even though they don't work for it, and the government let's them have it. And the immigrants think they are entitled to much more than money- foremost among their entitlements is the idea of their victim status. Republican Bob might be generalizing with the terms such as rich and poor and the space alloted to him, as it is for me, does not allow for fully elaborating on everything. Next time, in Part II- RB will explain more of what is at the heart of the matter by putting on his ethnologist's cap.
*Occupe- means "occupied" in French. Republican Bob is 1/4 French.
**Telescopic Philanthropy is a term used by Dickens to communicate that a lot of attention is paid to, and money spent on, matters very far away from what should be of greater concern.
You've been occupied (in more ways than one): Good morning/afternoon- but actually my name is Robert Occupe* (Janus is one misguided soapbox blowhard). I have been paying very special attention to the events in Iraq- you know, the place where people now think that weapons of mass destruction never were. Last time I looked at a map of Iraq, it was big and maybe someone could hide a few dozen WMD in the sand, in a cave, in an underground bunker- maybe Osama took them to Afghanistan with him so he could enjoy the idea of their potential explosion- like my buddy who enjoys the idea of potentially exploding with the help of any of a number of adult videos that reside in his bucket-o-porn, which is well hidden beneath his bed.
A living hell: So, anywho- Jean Paul Sartre wrote- "Hell is other people." While I think he had Janus in mind preemptively (for Janus is only in his mid 30s), I think the quote should be more like- "Hell can be other people." I think that is what we're finding out in Iraq, with the help of the Baker-Hamilton report. I'm a more good natured, the glass is hall full kind of guy- and still think it was a good idea to author the regime change, and think we should still be there in a more decisive clearly defined role. It is clear that we are in the midst of a civil war we cannot win, for we are not one of the two (or three, or more) factions that stand to lose or gain the most. We do not have the inherent psychic, religious, or philosophical makeup codified in our DNA as they do.
Go or stay: Resolving the Iraq conflict successfully is a pipe dream and it would be easier to take a bone away from a pit bull with lockjaw than it will be to eventually leave from Iraq with the achieved Adlerian goal of a national feeling of self-realization. Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted to go and yet had the feeling that you wanted to stay? This is a paraphrase of a line from some old musical- I just don't know which one. What is the third option? Well, it is more shock and awe- or as the host columnist would say "awe shucks" because he didn't think our initial maneuvers were some of the most successfully engineered attacks in the history of the military.
Looking beyone our own problems: See, these people (the Islamic extremists) are not reasonable, and they think us the same, and it is never going to change. Funny thing is, our telescopic philanthropy** (a phrase the Janus loves- made popular by Charles Dickens) is preventing us from seeing a similar example of civil war unfold right under our very noses. I'd use the "we can't see the forest for the trees" line, but I hate that one. Yeah, we have Mexican, Muslim, Haitain, and Loasian immigrants, among others, flooding into this country. Now, I would gladly take the percentage of them that will learn our American language, pay taxes, respect our cultures without being offended by them (while we respect theirs), and be punished just like everyone else when they commit crimes and exchange all of the gangstas and white trash currently residing comfortably in this country. But I don't have the receipt for the latter (see the Janus' previous column about unwanted gifts). Unfortunately, I can't employ that many hit men/garbage men to do the job. Also, as I've seen what passes for justice in this country turn a blind eye to recidivists- this last qualification is not necessary because I've seen American rapists get less time in prison than someone who has kicked a dog- probably a person who was trying to deal with that lock-jawed pit bull.
Don't be offended: Hell, to be sure, can be other people. There are thousands of immigrants who are and would be productive members of American society- but there are also thousands who are infiltrating our country, not obeying our laws, receiving tax breaks, getting jobs without a national identification card (do we even have that yet) and being offended by easter bunnies in government offices because it is a "religious" symbol. The easter bunny!
Liberals and Conservatives and . . . : Seriously, they are altering the makeup of this country, and we aren't doing a damned thing about it because we are populated by two major factions who are more concerned with each other, and personally, I wouldn't have it any other way- Independents are satellite Americans. We have the traditional liberal democrat who favors extremism in the defense of liberty (liberty for those who should not even be here- illegal immigrants), in other words- the bad guys. And we have those of my sect (according to Janus), the republicans- the paranoid rich who are worried that someone will overtax money they acquired by the sweat of another man's brow- often by an immigrant that is being underpaid for their labor- and those are the good guys. My view, if you come up with an idea and it sells, and you employ people in your company, you are entitled to all you can get and keep- that is capitalism.
My conclusion-
So, the civil war in Iraq, is one giant pitbull, and the bone is the civil war beginning to cast its shadow in our America that we are ignoring right here, though with all of the immigrants coming in we have a giant bucket-o-porn. Hopefully my buddy will forgive me on this one, but he has the right idea- Hell with it! We should not ignore our own bone!
Janus' note- The rich think they are entitled to all of their own money, even though they don't need it, and the government lets them keep it; the poor think they are entitled to everyone else's money, even though they don't work for it, and the government let's them have it. And the immigrants think they are entitled to much more than money- foremost among their entitlements is the idea of their victim status. Republican Bob might be generalizing with the terms such as rich and poor and the space alloted to him, as it is for me, does not allow for fully elaborating on everything. Next time, in Part II- RB will explain more of what is at the heart of the matter by putting on his ethnologist's cap.
*Occupe- means "occupied" in French. Republican Bob is 1/4 French.
**Telescopic Philanthropy is a term used by Dickens to communicate that a lot of attention is paid to, and money spent on, matters very far away from what should be of greater concern.
Saturday, December 2, 2006
Ungratefulness and steak with ketchup
A short Blog?: Ok, this is blog #3 and I've received some advice from friends and family about my first two posts, so this one will be a little shorter- as one of the complaints was about the length and depth and breadth of the first two. But on second thought- hell with that. I have a lot to say that no one will read.
Why?: So, in Andy Rooney style here she goes- You ever wonder why . . . when you've been invited by friends, family, or neighbors for dinner who are serving you grilled animal flesh, they get so offended when they see you putting ketchup on "their" steak? Isn't it your steak now. After all, isn't it on your plate? Aren't you the guest? Haven't they taken the trouble to vacuum and dust, pick up their house, clean the bathroom, and buy all kinds of beverages, and spend hours preparing the meal so that you can enjoy the experience of being received in their home?
The Worthiness of Ketchup: Isn't all of that preparation by the host for the guest who the host hopes will have a nice time? Won't the guest have a nice time if they can have seconds on the potatoes, enjoy the dessert, get a little buzzed from the wine, enjoy the dinner music and the conversation, and are allowed to put ketchup on their steak? I was not aware that ketchup was so unworthy and that cut of meat so sanctified.
The real Inconsiderates: The people offended by others putting ketchup on steak are likely those who know that you have registered for gifts for an upcoming wedding, but buy you an off the menu gift. They may be too inconsiderate to buy you something you want. The wedding guest decides to buy you a copper bird feeder that will rust to shit in six months time. That is offensive to me. I'm considered a fairly ungrateful person when I mention this to my wife, to my friends, to my family.
The Returns Aren't In: I guess I am ungrateful. I want people to get what they want, need or can use for a gift as a further reward, along with marrying the right person, on the biggest day of their life. I guess I care if I am giving a gift to someone who will like it, and me, for having considered their desires. I don't want to give someone some piece of crap I think they should have. So, if you are intent on giving someone a toaster when they registered for a coffee maker- include the damn receipt- so they can take the gift you wanted to give them back to the store. And don't buy them something from an outlet mall they'll have to regift if they have the nerve. If they have the nerve, that will likely make two people who didn't want a plastic cutting board and cheap steak knives that would disolve in ketchup. You should feel guilty for feeling proud of giving someone a gift that is worthless to the recipient. Giving crappy gifts and feeling good about it is like giving ramen noodles to a starving child in Africa when they don't have clean water in which to boil the noodles?
Terrible offense: Some people think that ingratitude is a terrible offense- I think ingratitude falls below a lack of consideration on the scale of offensive human qualities. I should eat my steak medium rare and sans a popular tomato based condiment to be considered a grateful guest at your dinner table? I say- pass the ketchup!
Why?: So, in Andy Rooney style here she goes- You ever wonder why . . . when you've been invited by friends, family, or neighbors for dinner who are serving you grilled animal flesh, they get so offended when they see you putting ketchup on "their" steak? Isn't it your steak now. After all, isn't it on your plate? Aren't you the guest? Haven't they taken the trouble to vacuum and dust, pick up their house, clean the bathroom, and buy all kinds of beverages, and spend hours preparing the meal so that you can enjoy the experience of being received in their home?
The Worthiness of Ketchup: Isn't all of that preparation by the host for the guest who the host hopes will have a nice time? Won't the guest have a nice time if they can have seconds on the potatoes, enjoy the dessert, get a little buzzed from the wine, enjoy the dinner music and the conversation, and are allowed to put ketchup on their steak? I was not aware that ketchup was so unworthy and that cut of meat so sanctified.
The real Inconsiderates: The people offended by others putting ketchup on steak are likely those who know that you have registered for gifts for an upcoming wedding, but buy you an off the menu gift. They may be too inconsiderate to buy you something you want. The wedding guest decides to buy you a copper bird feeder that will rust to shit in six months time. That is offensive to me. I'm considered a fairly ungrateful person when I mention this to my wife, to my friends, to my family.
The Returns Aren't In: I guess I am ungrateful. I want people to get what they want, need or can use for a gift as a further reward, along with marrying the right person, on the biggest day of their life. I guess I care if I am giving a gift to someone who will like it, and me, for having considered their desires. I don't want to give someone some piece of crap I think they should have. So, if you are intent on giving someone a toaster when they registered for a coffee maker- include the damn receipt- so they can take the gift you wanted to give them back to the store. And don't buy them something from an outlet mall they'll have to regift if they have the nerve. If they have the nerve, that will likely make two people who didn't want a plastic cutting board and cheap steak knives that would disolve in ketchup. You should feel guilty for feeling proud of giving someone a gift that is worthless to the recipient. Giving crappy gifts and feeling good about it is like giving ramen noodles to a starving child in Africa when they don't have clean water in which to boil the noodles?
Terrible offense: Some people think that ingratitude is a terrible offense- I think ingratitude falls below a lack of consideration on the scale of offensive human qualities. I should eat my steak medium rare and sans a popular tomato based condiment to be considered a grateful guest at your dinner table? I say- pass the ketchup!
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Delusional Qualities and god
Delusional Qualities explained: Any person that is so blind to obvious facts has "delusional qualities". Now, I don't expect that the use of this term will gain such lofty heights as the scientific term "natural selection", the philosophical term coined by Kant- "categorical imperative", or the Latin term which means "Thus always with tyrants." (Sic Semper Tyrannis). This was uttered by John Wilkes Booth after he shot Abraham Lincoln in the balcony of the theatre. For more on Lincoln- read below.
The Limit of god's powers: Let me just say this- any athlete, musician, religious zealot, movie-star, politician, soldiers, or warthog who thinks that god allowed them to be something, or even worse, provided them with "talent" clearly has delusional qualities- it isn't even debatable. god did not help you score a touchdown, convince a crowd of sheep to believe in miracles, help you land a movie role, assist you in killing your fellow man, or provide you with the inspiration to pen some words that the public is unbelievably drawn to while your record is in the top ten for a couple months. he, if there is a he, doesn't care.
Bigger concerns: He might have floods to worry about, grieving families who have lost a family member to console, or anarchists to favor. Oh, I was just kidding about that last part. Lincoln wrote in his second inaugural address about the opposing sides during the Civil War- "both [sides] pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other." Apparently god wanted to destroy the South. The result of the war was not due to the industrial and numerical advantages of the North- nope, it was because god wanted the South to suffer- their homes to burn, their women to be raped. Shouldn't half the country in 1865 have cursed god's name?
A Plea for private worship: Athletes- worship privately- do not tell a reporter that you have to give thanks to Jesus Christ, Allah, or Buddha. Your luck, your undeniable skill, the other team's injuries, or lack of preparation, a confluence of events such as a perfect throw, and a fantastic catch are all reasons why you have this time succeeded. So, SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT god! He does not care- he is not even there. Remember the Wizard of Oz? Yeah, he's a guy pulling strings behind a curtain. That is it! And before it was discovered that he was merely human, he was tyrannical. If believing in a god provides you with personal strength that is great- but it is nonsense to believe that the events of your life are tests whereby you may gain merit in the eyes of a deity should you remain dutifully faithful.
Natural Selection: You actually think that because you believe in god, you are the preferred people, that you have been naturally selected for a better afterlife, a more enlightened present life. Peoples under the grand umbrella of your own religion- christianity- here I am thinking of calvinism, believe that even if you do not have faith, virtue or merit you may be unconditionally elected to receive god's mercy and be subsequently saved, and if you have all of those things and are giving and pious you stand a very good chance of suffering the opposite fate. So, your own hubris is unwarranted in this case. Be quiet as you're being pious.
Your feeling of entitlement because of him, your idea that you are superior- is laughable! George Brett hit .390 for the Kansas City Royals in 1980. If he were a devout catholic- shouldn't he be cursing god for the just over 6 times out of 10 he was NOT successful?
Categorical Imperative: By the way- the "categorical imperative" according to Immanuel Kant- "Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it would become a universal law." The implication here is that you believe you are better than others who do not believe- Jihadist Muslims feel the same way. You aware of what is happening because of that? No god would shun the prayers of another so that you can prevail. Of course, he does not shun prayers at all, for there is no god to answer when there is no god to hear.
Hypocritic Oath: So-play your games, write your music, fight your battles and be the tyrannically entitled hypocrite you unconscionably allow yourself to be- the only god that exists is the one in your mind- it is called your conscience. Be lucky, be good, work hard, be successful- but for god's sake stop giving credit to anything other than your work ethic, your teammates abilities, good luck, happenstance, or naturally refined abilities- which is not synonymous with god-given talent. The only thing wrong with this approach is that your ego will only get bigger, for you will not be able to thank a fictional lord, but will only be able thank yourself- (such shortsightedness) . . . oh god what have I done?
The Limit of god's powers: Let me just say this- any athlete, musician, religious zealot, movie-star, politician, soldiers, or warthog who thinks that god allowed them to be something, or even worse, provided them with "talent" clearly has delusional qualities- it isn't even debatable. god did not help you score a touchdown, convince a crowd of sheep to believe in miracles, help you land a movie role, assist you in killing your fellow man, or provide you with the inspiration to pen some words that the public is unbelievably drawn to while your record is in the top ten for a couple months. he, if there is a he, doesn't care.
Bigger concerns: He might have floods to worry about, grieving families who have lost a family member to console, or anarchists to favor. Oh, I was just kidding about that last part. Lincoln wrote in his second inaugural address about the opposing sides during the Civil War- "both [sides] pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other." Apparently god wanted to destroy the South. The result of the war was not due to the industrial and numerical advantages of the North- nope, it was because god wanted the South to suffer- their homes to burn, their women to be raped. Shouldn't half the country in 1865 have cursed god's name?
A Plea for private worship: Athletes- worship privately- do not tell a reporter that you have to give thanks to Jesus Christ, Allah, or Buddha. Your luck, your undeniable skill, the other team's injuries, or lack of preparation, a confluence of events such as a perfect throw, and a fantastic catch are all reasons why you have this time succeeded. So, SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT god! He does not care- he is not even there. Remember the Wizard of Oz? Yeah, he's a guy pulling strings behind a curtain. That is it! And before it was discovered that he was merely human, he was tyrannical. If believing in a god provides you with personal strength that is great- but it is nonsense to believe that the events of your life are tests whereby you may gain merit in the eyes of a deity should you remain dutifully faithful.
Natural Selection: You actually think that because you believe in god, you are the preferred people, that you have been naturally selected for a better afterlife, a more enlightened present life. Peoples under the grand umbrella of your own religion- christianity- here I am thinking of calvinism, believe that even if you do not have faith, virtue or merit you may be unconditionally elected to receive god's mercy and be subsequently saved, and if you have all of those things and are giving and pious you stand a very good chance of suffering the opposite fate. So, your own hubris is unwarranted in this case. Be quiet as you're being pious.
Your feeling of entitlement because of him, your idea that you are superior- is laughable! George Brett hit .390 for the Kansas City Royals in 1980. If he were a devout catholic- shouldn't he be cursing god for the just over 6 times out of 10 he was NOT successful?
Categorical Imperative: By the way- the "categorical imperative" according to Immanuel Kant- "Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it would become a universal law." The implication here is that you believe you are better than others who do not believe- Jihadist Muslims feel the same way. You aware of what is happening because of that? No god would shun the prayers of another so that you can prevail. Of course, he does not shun prayers at all, for there is no god to answer when there is no god to hear.
Hypocritic Oath: So-play your games, write your music, fight your battles and be the tyrannically entitled hypocrite you unconscionably allow yourself to be- the only god that exists is the one in your mind- it is called your conscience. Be lucky, be good, work hard, be successful- but for god's sake stop giving credit to anything other than your work ethic, your teammates abilities, good luck, happenstance, or naturally refined abilities- which is not synonymous with god-given talent. The only thing wrong with this approach is that your ego will only get bigger, for you will not be able to thank a fictional lord, but will only be able thank yourself- (such shortsightedness) . . . oh god what have I done?
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Dory and Election Results
I know this is a week late, but I just got this blog set up yesterday. If the reverse psychology failed no one will be reading this anyway.
Political Dependency: At any rate, as Americans we should once again be disgusted with the political process. Democrats and Republicans get to believe that negative attack ads still work; there are still polls conducted by Dem. and Rep. think tanks that help influence hunyuck voters; and some intelligent voters were drawn to one side or the other because of the shiny objects the right and left dangled in front of our eyes- that came in the form of promises such as not raising taxes or the desire to remove troops from Iraq. Remember Dory from the "Finding Nemo" movie of a couple years ago? She was a fish attracted to shiny objects with a short memory. In short, the establishment politicians are smirking their way to elected office- and we are negotiating a current of jellyfish in the vain hope of keeping ourselves from getting stung. I'd use a sheep analogy here, but the fish metaphor seems to be working quite well.
Vote No for the Status Quo: Seriously people- a muskie is brighter than we are- I think it is a muskie- an intelligent fish, native to Minnesota- respected by anglers. People who voted for one side or the other, again neglecting the middle, that had the noble, protest-vote-idea of voting for Independent candidates, should feel like a bull racing towards the red cloak . . . and we know how that usually turns out. If you don't know- you should read a Hemingway novel. Ah, and we would be the bull- yeah, I'm going there- being led by the horns. A co-worker of mine will call these metaphors vapid and say my entire offering here is a combination of non sequiturs. My response- just because you don't believe in the ability of the language to stir a person's emotions and you don't agree with me doesn't mean there is a logical fallacy being propounded. The fallacy is that anything will change when you vote to keep the status quo parties in power.
Our Independence: Independent voters- anyone tell you your vote was wasted because you considered voting for a candidate running for office that was not an electible republican or democrat? Were you foolish enough to believe them? You ever hear of arguing, fighting, voting for a cause based on principle- ever hear of William Wallace- a Scottish militant executed for treason by a King of England who was not his king. Yes, this is what I do, I say alarming things that I believe and that others find offensive- and I choose not to care- because I'm right!
Short-Term memory: Oligarchy folks- the rule of the many by the entitled few. I include conservative talk show hosts like Bob Davis on (Minnesota's) AM 1500 who talk over people and liberal columnists like Lori Sturdevant from the Minneapolis Star Tribune whose short-sightedness won't allow her to be objective as advocates of same old, same old politics, who think a vote for a third party is a wasted vote. All we foster at election time is politics as usual if you keep putting the same types of people into office- career politicians who pander to you, who lie about voting records, who give half-truths to get elected and take money from corporations and interest groups on whose behalf they will vote once elected. So we vote for "change" . . . the same "change" we voted for last time- the same thing we have now. Once again we were duped and the sad thing is we'll do it again, because four years from now we won't remember that nothing has changed. Even Dory has a better memory than that.
Political Dependency: At any rate, as Americans we should once again be disgusted with the political process. Democrats and Republicans get to believe that negative attack ads still work; there are still polls conducted by Dem. and Rep. think tanks that help influence hunyuck voters; and some intelligent voters were drawn to one side or the other because of the shiny objects the right and left dangled in front of our eyes- that came in the form of promises such as not raising taxes or the desire to remove troops from Iraq. Remember Dory from the "Finding Nemo" movie of a couple years ago? She was a fish attracted to shiny objects with a short memory. In short, the establishment politicians are smirking their way to elected office- and we are negotiating a current of jellyfish in the vain hope of keeping ourselves from getting stung. I'd use a sheep analogy here, but the fish metaphor seems to be working quite well.
Vote No for the Status Quo: Seriously people- a muskie is brighter than we are- I think it is a muskie- an intelligent fish, native to Minnesota- respected by anglers. People who voted for one side or the other, again neglecting the middle, that had the noble, protest-vote-idea of voting for Independent candidates, should feel like a bull racing towards the red cloak . . . and we know how that usually turns out. If you don't know- you should read a Hemingway novel. Ah, and we would be the bull- yeah, I'm going there- being led by the horns. A co-worker of mine will call these metaphors vapid and say my entire offering here is a combination of non sequiturs. My response- just because you don't believe in the ability of the language to stir a person's emotions and you don't agree with me doesn't mean there is a logical fallacy being propounded. The fallacy is that anything will change when you vote to keep the status quo parties in power.
Our Independence: Independent voters- anyone tell you your vote was wasted because you considered voting for a candidate running for office that was not an electible republican or democrat? Were you foolish enough to believe them? You ever hear of arguing, fighting, voting for a cause based on principle- ever hear of William Wallace- a Scottish militant executed for treason by a King of England who was not his king. Yes, this is what I do, I say alarming things that I believe and that others find offensive- and I choose not to care- because I'm right!
Short-Term memory: Oligarchy folks- the rule of the many by the entitled few. I include conservative talk show hosts like Bob Davis on (Minnesota's) AM 1500 who talk over people and liberal columnists like Lori Sturdevant from the Minneapolis Star Tribune whose short-sightedness won't allow her to be objective as advocates of same old, same old politics, who think a vote for a third party is a wasted vote. All we foster at election time is politics as usual if you keep putting the same types of people into office- career politicians who pander to you, who lie about voting records, who give half-truths to get elected and take money from corporations and interest groups on whose behalf they will vote once elected. So we vote for "change" . . . the same "change" we voted for last time- the same thing we have now. Once again we were duped and the sad thing is we'll do it again, because four years from now we won't remember that nothing has changed. Even Dory has a better memory than that.
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